Planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times in your life, but it can also come with a lot of tough decisions. One of the biggest questions many couples face is: Should we elope or have a big wedding? Both options have their pros and cons, and the right choice depends on your priorities, vision, and budget. Here’s a guide to help you decide which path is best for your special day.

Eloping: Intimate, Stress-Free, and Adventurous

Eloping used to be seen as a last-minute decision, but today, many couples are choosing it as a meaningful, intentional way to tie the knot. If you’re wondering whether eloping is right for you, consider the benefits below.

Benefits of Eloping:

1. Intimacy and Privacy: Eloping allows you to focus entirely on each other, creating a more personal and emotional experience.
2. Less Stress: A smaller guest list means fewer logistics, lower costs, and less stress around planning.
3. Budget-Friendly: With fewer guests, you can save on venues, catering, and other expenses, or splurge on things like travel, photography, or videography.
4. Adventure and Flexibility: Whether it’s a beach in Hawaiʻi or a mountaintop at sunrise, eloping gives you the freedom to choose a location that’s meaningful to you without worrying about accommodating guests.
5. Shorter Planning Time: If you’re not a fan of long planning periods, eloping can be organized in a much shorter time frame.

Challenges of Eloping:

• Limited Guest List: Eloping typically means fewer or no guests, which could leave some family members or friends feeling left out.
• Less Traditional: If you’ve always dreamed of a big, traditional wedding, eloping might not offer the same experience.
• No Reception: You may miss out on the large celebration and dancing with loved ones that come with a big wedding.

Big Wedding: A Grand Celebration with Loved Ones

For many couples, a big wedding is a chance to celebrate their love with family and friends. If you love the idea of being surrounded by everyone important to you, then a larger wedding may be the right choice.

Benefits of a Big Wedding:

1. Celebrate with Loved Ones: A big wedding allows you to share your day with a large number of guests, creating unforgettable memories with those you care about.
2. Traditional Experience: If you’ve always envisioned walking down the aisle in front of friends and family, a big wedding can fulfill that dream.
3. More Event Options: Larger weddings offer the opportunity for grand venues, full-scale receptions, and entertainment like live bands or DJs.
4. Multiple Celebrations: In addition to the wedding day, a big wedding can include pre-wedding events like bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and a rehearsal dinner.
5. Memorable Photography: With a bigger guest list, you’ll have more photo opportunities with family and friends, capturing memories that last a lifetime.

Challenges of a Big Wedding:

• Higher Costs: More guests mean larger venues, catering bills, and additional expenses for things like décor, flowers, and entertainment.
• More Stress: Coordinating a large event comes with more planning and potential stress, especially when it comes to logistics and managing a guest list.
• Time-Consuming: A big wedding typically requires months of planning and organizing, which can feel overwhelming for some couples.

How to Choose Between Eloping and a Big Wedding

The decision comes down to what’s most important to you as a couple. Here are a few questions to ask yourselves:

1. What is our budget? If you’re working with a smaller budget, eloping can save you money without sacrificing a meaningful experience.
2. What kind of experience do we want? Do you envision an intimate ceremony with just the two of you, or with a few friends/family members or do you envision a big celebration with everyone you love?
3. What are our stress levels? If planning a big event feels overwhelming, an elopement might be a better fit for a more relaxed experience.
4. How important is tradition to us? If you’ve always dreamed of a traditional wedding day, a larger event may be the better choice.
5. How do we want to remember our day? Whether it’s an adventurous elopement or a grand wedding celebration, think about how you want to look back on your wedding day.

Making the Right Decision for You

There’s no right or wrong choice when it comes to eloping versus having a big wedding—only what feels right for you as a couple. If you’re still undecided, consider combining the best of both worlds by eloping and hosting a small celebration or reception later with friends and family.

Whether you decide to elope or go all out with a big wedding, what matters most is that your day reflects your love and commitment to one another.

Officiant: James Chun